{"id":18332,"date":"2024-10-28T14:02:49","date_gmt":"2024-10-28T14:02:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.sandler.com\/?p=18332"},"modified":"2024-10-28T16:53:31","modified_gmt":"2024-10-28T16:53:31","slug":"yes-chef-article-rodriguez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sandler.com\/blog\/yes-chef-article-rodriguez\/","title":{"rendered":"Yes, Chef: The Hidden Sandler Lesson in The Bear"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, Chef: The Hidden Sandler Lesson in The Bear<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sofia Rodriguez<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Imagine my surprise. The last place I expected to encounter core Sandler principles was The Bear \u2013 <\/em>the addictive, bingeable FX comedy-drama series about an emotionally troubled chef trying to turn his family\u2019s sandwich shop into a Michelin-star restaurant.<\/p>\n

Yet that\u2019s what happened. I got a Sandler reinforcement session I never expected from the \u201cYes, chef\u201d guy. One particular line he delivered in this show jumped out at me instantly as the most concise, compelling summary I\u2019d ever heard of what we at Sandler call I\/R Theory, or Identity\/Role Theory.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

A few words of explanation are in order here before we move on. First, you don\u2019t have to have seen even a single episode of this series for what I\u2019m about to share to make sense. Second, if you\u2019re planning to watch The Bear, <\/em>or you have not yet made it through all the show\u2019s episodes, you can relax, because I\u2019m not going to give away any big spoilers. And finally, you should know that won\u2019t be sharing the scene in question with you verbatim, because, frankly, the language is a little rough for a publication like this. Let\u2019s just say that this scene\u2019s big takeaway line can be rephrased (almost) as effectively and memorably when we put it like this: Stuff happens.<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

But I\u2019m getting ahead of myself. Here\u2019s the setting for the exchange that jumped out at me: two chefs (yes, that\u2019s what they call themselves, even though this is a sandwich joint) are on break outside the restaurant. The more experienced chef, Carmy, is talking to the newcomer, Marcus, about a mistake Marcus just made that overloaded the restaurant\u2019s fusebox and caused the electricity to go out. Carmy\u2019s not being aggressive or overbearing; he\u2019s being appropriately direct about what happened and he\u2019s helping Marcus think about what he could have done differently. Basically, Carmy\u2019s being a good coach.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We can tell Marcus appreciates this approach, because he accepts the coaching. He explains why he made the choices he did, he expresses authentic regret at having caused a problem, and, finally, he makes a promise that, deep down, he must know he can\u2019t keep. But Marcus wants to look good in front of the boss \u2026 and maybe, just maybe, Marcus has bought into a less-than-useful narrative somewhere along the line, a narrative in which he sees himself<\/em> as the issue whenever there\u2019s a problem.\u00a0 So he makes this promise to Carmy. He promises not to make any more mistakes.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At which point we hear Carmy\u2019s response, which is, as I\u2019ve said, something I have to rephrase to make it appropriate for a business article:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cSure you will. You\u2019ll make mistakes. But not because you\u2019re you. Because stuff happens.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Wow. That\u2019s all of I\/R theory, right there, in two seconds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

“I” stands for our identity, meaning our self-concept, our sense of self-worth. “R” stands for the various roles we play: chef, son, baseball fan, salesperson, whatever. We will play countless roles over the course of a lifetime, some of which we will perform well in, and some of which we won\u2019t. And here\u2019s the thing: Other people may rate our performance in those roles as great, or lousy, or somewhere in between. And we may rate our own <\/em>performance within a role as great, or lousy or somewhere in between. But who we are <\/em>is not up for discussion.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Who we are <\/em>is not determined by what we do. If we convince ourselves otherwise, into thinking that a mistake happens because of who we are <\/em>as opposed to because of what we do<\/em>, we\u2019re needlessly limiting ourselves. And we\u2019re also limiting our ability to grow, learn, and contribute.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sandler teaches us that we can only perform as well in our roles as we see ourselves conceptually. Our concept of identity always affects how we perform in our roles\u2026but we never want to allow our role performance to affect our sense of identity. Our ongoing challenge as human beings is to see ourselves as we really are: as 10 on a scale of 10.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We all have the potential to be something amazing, to make a dramatic positive difference in someone\u2019s life, to make a life-changing impact.\u00a0 We’re all here to be something great, to contribute something great. And the world doesn’t get anything from us playing small. Yet we suffer, because we\u2019ve been conditioned to believe that we\u2019re not <\/em>10 on a scale of 10. That we\u2019re a six. Or even a two. We\u2019ve bought into the fiction that we ourselves are <\/em>the problem when a problem shows up in life. And that\u2019s not true. It\u2019s a story we tell ourselves, a movie we choose to play on the wall of our minds.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If we\u2019re not careful, we can get addicted to that kind of movie. If we\u2019re not careful, we can get addicted to looking for evidence that we really are two on a scale of ten. If we\u2019re not careful, we can get lost replayig familiar movies, narratives, and experiences that keep us feeling small, keep us navigating well-worn paths, keep us well inside our comfort zone \u2026 and conceal who we truly are and what we\u2019re truly capable of.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Yes: we will make mistakes if we make a habit of changing our patterns of awareness and behavior, if we keep searching out new perspectives, if we stop complaining so much, if we take more chances, if we fail more often, if we learn more lessons about ourselves and the world we live in. Mistakes are definitely going to show up if we do those things. But not because we\u2019re who we are. <\/em>They\u2019ll show up because stuff happens<\/em> while we\u2019re learning how best to perform within a given role. And, at the same time, learning more about ourselves.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I think oftentimes, as human beings, we’re trying to change what we see on the screen, instead of trying to change the film that gets loaded into the projector. We’re letting what we\u2019ve chosen to project onto the screen of our minds tell us who we are. And it\u2019s telling us that we\u2019re not enough. But we are.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Ten on a scale of ten is who we really are, even on a day when \u2026 stuff happens. We are always <\/em>that engaged, aware, creative, inspired, ten-out-of-ten person. We\u2019ve always been <\/em>that person. We just made choices that led to us not noticing <\/em>that that person is who we really are. But we can make different choices at any moment, including this one.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the big lesson that Sandler has taught me, and that The Bear <\/em>has now reinforced for me. If we are brave enough to set aside the narratives that don\u2019t support us, brave enough to open ourselves up to our own true potential, brave enough to fail, brave enough to embrace who we really are and what we are really capable of learning and contributing, brave enough to commit\u00a0ourselves, over and over again, to a life of growth \u2026 we may just surprise ourselves and others.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, Chef: The Hidden Sandler Lesson in The Bear   Sofia Rodriguez   Imagine my surprise. The last place I expected to encounter core Sandler principles was The Bear \u2013 the addictive, bingeable FX comedy-drama series about an emotionally troubled chef trying to turn his family\u2019s sandwich shop into a Michelin-star restaurant. Yet that\u2019s what…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":167,"featured_media":18333,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1120],"tags":[1024,1261,1338,1377,1366,1612],"class_list":["post-18332","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog","tag-sales","tag-sales-communication","tag-sales-drama-triangle","tag-sales-leaders","tag-salespeople","tag-sandler-hot-take"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nYes, Chef: The Hidden Sandler Lesson in The Bear - Sandler<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Imagine my surprise. 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